Another day in paradise yeeeeaaaahhhh

Well I went fishing again and I caught a fish within the first 10 minutes but this one was too small so I had to throw it back and I didnt get another one for the rest of the day but thats cool that little one will grow to a big one for me to catch later on.  I am so looking forward for tomorrow as I will get to spend the next week spending time with my beautiful grandson and hopefully my grand-daughter will come up some time too so that will be great if I get to see both.  Right now after a absolutely beautiful day out in the sun near the beach front I decided to come home and have a couple of cold ones.  You see I am allowed to live my own life and do things for myself and allow myself to just be me and treating myself just a little. I’ve never really lived my life just for me at all in the last 18 years and it is sometimes hard to believe that it is okay to live a new life just for me and enjoying my new life beside the sea on this beautiful island.  How many people really gets to live their lives out on an island and start all over again and I can be me and just live the new life that I so desperately need and want.  I still find it hard to accept that I actually do stuff for myself and that it really is okay to do that now, I had my life and my world torn apart and now I am starting all over again and it is just taking time to accept and truely believe that it is alright to start thinking about me and having this beautiful new life.  I have started by allowing myself to keep a little bit of money aside so that I can go down to the local pub and have a meal and a few drinks.  I can go down the water-front and relax and fish and not really do much other than enjoying nature, but both of these things when I do them I still feel a bit selfish and that I shouldn’t be able to feel happy about anything after every thing that has happened, but I keep trying to stay positive and that is partly why I started this blog so that I can allow myself to feel a bit of happiness after having my world ripped apart and I was brought me to my knees and I am rebuilding my life and maybe this time I will be happy, in this new life.  Catch you tomorrow.

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