Another Day and I am feeling blah nothing

I am feeling rather blah and a little tired, and not really feel like doing anything, and it is a little cool and still outside in the air.  I plan on going fishing later on, but right now I wish later on was right now.  I just feel like all my neighbours arent happy unless they are causing trouble or finding fault with everybody else.  This is one of the things that is really affecting how I am feeling on a daily basis, and I wish I could just ignore it all because I hate being judged by people but I am worried that others will think that it is me or my dog causing the problems.  Then I worry that they will make a complaint about me and my dog P and right now I can see problems coming about because the girl up tops boyfriend is there and apparently he thinks he owns the place from what I have been told.  And if this is true then it is just going to stir things up and I really dont want to go through any shit and have to deal with anyone elses hassles and shit.  I can already see the respect she shows other people is not there now that he is here, they just threw friggin’ water or something of their patio down on top of mine, and I can hear it dripping away, but I dont want to say anything because I don’t need to put up with anyone else’s crap and I can see that happening just from a gut feeling.  I don’t know how I am going to handle any of this stuff cause I am not use to living so close to other people and basically being in each others pockets so to speak and I just want to live a peaceful life and not have to put up with other peoples problems, I want to live peacefully and if I have to stand my ground so others wont push me around.  You see that has always been my problem cause I always let other people bully me and push me around and they always get their own way and I do what they want and I act how they want instead of me being true to myself and I really need to start doing that, standing my ground and being the real me and not a them want.  But at the same time I dont want to lock myself away from the world and become a recluse and be miserable all the god damn time.  See when I start feeling this way is when I start to feel like a piece of crap and then I become so depressed that I lock myself away even more than I had been to start with and I moved so that I could get out and about more than I had been doing in the past.  Oh well I am just going to watch my foxtel and keep to myself until it is time for me to get my stuff together for when I go fishing very much later this afternoon.




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