Yes people I live in paradise and I still get depressed, this illness doesn’t care how good of a life we have it still makes us feel like crap, but this morning I woke up feeling on the normal line. I am greeted every morning with a great big smile from my very protective dog and the sun is shining across the water and I don’t feel so bad. I still have to do my usual morning jobs around the house, but this morning after starting this blog yesterday, I felt the need to come and sit at my desk and write about how I am feeling. I actually somehow feel lighter, I don’t know if you know what I mean, but let me tell you it does feel real good. I have to sweep and mop the concrete floors that I live in, and water all my plants and walk the dog up and down my block because he doesn’t play well with other dogs because he is way too protective. Once I finish the I have to look at my oracles for Divine guidance, then I will decide to either sit there and knit, while I watch tele, or I could do some colouring art therapy , which is fun and helps get the shit out of my mind. When I colour I think about what colour would the feelings I am having be, and I sort of theme them and I can follow the feelings of my days and how they can be changing all the time. Also there is my paper Journal where I write a hell of a lot, some days it is pages and pages but I am going to try and write more of it here than in my journal books. I just moved my 3 bedroom house to a little 1 bedroom on an island close to the beach and I found over a dozen paper journals that I had completely filled. And that was part of the reason I started this blog because I want to use less paper and kill less tress for that paper, and that may sound wierd to you but I feel trees are living things and they have feelings and without them we would all die because they help us out with the oxygen that every single one of us breathes. You see some days my mind is just full of crap and when I write or type I just let it flow, I dont think about what I am putting down, whether it makes sense or if the grammer is correct. I just put it all down so that there is less stuff running around in my mind making me go completely insane, and I just do what ever works and I always write as if I am talking to someone even though I know no-one is there its just the way I have always done things. But I suppose in my own way I am speaking to the spiritual realm hoping that they hear me and help me get through whatever is in my head and you know what if I feel better after writing or typing the crap in my head then they must be hearing me and making me feel better. I dont expect anyone to ever find or follow my blog and I really dont care because this blog is to help me and clear my head and if no-one reads it then I dont really care and if someone reads and they fell better about their life and it helps then that is really great too. Well I had better get in to my daily stuff that I have to do around the house and have a shower and get dressed for the day and decide what the hell I am going to do toady, you never know I may be back here just typing in no order other than what comes to my mind while I am typing on the keys, I do have a blessed live and today I am not so depressed.